Dangerous secret-ON HIATUS
by Seanemmadtng4ever
Summary: Maya Matlin is dating Zig Novak after her first love, Campbell Saunders, died 1 year prior to her relationship with Zig. What happens when Maya has to keep a secret from her boyfriend? Welcome to Degrassi where secrets are always revealed. *TRIGGER WARNING*
1. Chapter 1

**REVIEW, Favorite and Follow if you want to. I'm very obsessed with Degrassi right now which is why 4 of my stories are all about Degrassi. I'll probably have some Degrassi crossovers if anyone is interested. Enjoy. I do NOT own Degrassi.**

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 **Maya's POV:  
** "Maya, do you want to hangout tonight? We could watch movies and spend time together." Zig said as he held my hand while we were walking to Degrassi. "Yeah. I would love that." Zig smiled at me and I smiled back. When we got to Degrassi we kissed for a few seconds. "Ugh. You two are so adorable together, but sickening at the same time." Tori said, standing beside Tristan, Grace, Tiny, Jonah and Damon.

Zig and I laughed as Tiny and the rest of them smiled. "It's good to see you happy again, Maya. Tristan, Zig and I were worried about you after...everything that's happened, especially Zig." I looked at him and noticed that he was glaring at Tori. "Thanks, I guess." He looked at me, worried that I was going to break down in tears or something.

"Zig, I'm fine." I assured him, smiling. "I promise." Grace spoke up. "Wait, what happened last year?" She looked between the two of us.

"Zig can explain it to you four," I looked at Tiny, Grace, Jonah and Damon, "later. I don't really want to talk about it right now." I walked past them and went inside. The trophy case immediately caught my eye. Cam's hockey profile picture was still in there. I took a picture of it with my phone and then looked at him. His eyes looked so sad and it broke my heart all over again.

"Hey, are you okay?" Zig asked as he wrapped his arms around me. "What are you looking at?" He asked before he sighed. "Maya, it's okay for you to miss him. I'm not mad at all, I promise." He said, as I suddenly felt anger running through me. "I know." I started crying.

"Maya. It's going to be okay. You have me." He said, smiling. I looked at him and smiled. "That's the happy Maya I know and love." Zig said, softly. I blushed. "Come on. Let's get through today and then we can watch Netflix and chill tonight, okay?" I nodded as he took my hand and we walked to class together.

As soon as he was distracted, I saw his phone on his desk. I quickly grabbed it, put in the passcode and went to the contact I needed, took a picture of it, closed the app, locked the phone and put it back before anyone saw me. "Hey," he came over to me and put his arm around me. This is going to be a long day.

Later that day, Zig and I were sitting on the couch, when his phone beeped. He looked at it and frowned. "Zig, are you okay?" He put his phone up and looked at me before he sighed and paused the movie. I could heart his heart racing since my head was resting on his chest. His arms were wrapped around me. "Yeah. It's just that...Vince wants me to come back and deal again, but I'm not going to. I promise." He said looking at me. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything.

I love Zig and I don't want to see him getting hurt or worse. I wouldn't be able to handle it if anything bad happened to him after I lost Cam.

I sighed and put the popcorn bowl and empty soda cans up before I placed my hands on the counter. "Maya, you don't want to talk about this?" I didn't look at him. "What's there to talk about, Zig? The fact that I'm terrified at the thought of you getting hurt...or killed because of Vince. You know what happened to the last person who left?"

Zig looked at me as I ranted and I'm happy that he didn't interrupt me. He didn't look happy when I referenced Cam, probably because he knows how upset and worried I am about this. "They NEVER came back, Zig. I can't take that chance with you because I can't handle the though of anything bad happening to you. I love you so much and the thought of you injured due to one of his guns or lying dead somewhere because of a knife breaks my heart, Zig. I can't go through that pain again. I've failed Cam and as a result I lost him but I'm NOT going to risk it this time." I ranted as he walked over to me and held me while I cried.

"Maya, I'm not going back. I promise." I looked up at him. "It's not enough, Zig. What if he forces you to go back somehow?" My phone rang, but I ignored it. "Maya, stop. I'm not going back to the gang because I would rather be with you." His hands grabbed my arms while my hands were on his chest. "Zig, I'm scared for you." His green eyes locked with my blue ones. "I know, but I'm okay. Maya, trust me. Everything will be alright." I sighed and looked at him. "I trust you."

"Good." I frowned, "but I'm still not happy about this." Zig nodded. "I know." I was going to say something else, but instead I got cut off with a kiss. His soft lips on mine made me lose all concentration. I loved his kisses. He's the best, besides Cam.

"I love you." He smiled and he held onto my hand. I grabbed my phone and looked at it. No notifications.

I got the contact number and started texting. Hey, Cam we meet somewhere? I wanna talk to you. I looked at Zig. He looked so hot. I'm lucky to have him. I sat down next to him in the same position we were in before Zig's phone went off about 10 minutes ago.

"Zig, can you please be honest with me about something?" He looked at me and nodded. "Sure. What is it?" I looked down and wondered if this conversation would turn into a fight. Deep down, I knew that Zig loves me and would do anything to make sure I'm safe and happy, but I can't help but feel like I failed the two most important guys in my life.

"Do you think I'm a horrible person for not reacting the way people wanted me to? Because I was partying and getting drunk?" He lifted my head up to look at him. "No. I don't. Maya, I was so worried about you when you did that. I've never been more terrified in my life then seeing you fall apart and not being able to help. I didn't expect that you would have done any of that, but it doesn't change my feelings for you. Cam would have wanted you to be happy and eventually move on with your life. Drinking and partying wouldn't do anything but make it worse."

I nodded. "I'm sorry for scaring you, Zig." He looked at me and grabbed my hand. "Maya, as long as you're safe and happy that's all I care about."

I smiled. "Thanks." He smiled back and I continued the movie.

About 30 minutes later the movie was over, so Zig went to sleep and I went to my own room so I could pretend to go to sleep. I still had about 30 minutes until I had to leave. It wouldn't take me long to get to Degrassi.

Zig has done so much for me: he's been there for me when Cam died, he's never abandoned me when I at my worst and darkest moment, he's never made me feel like it was wrong to grieve differently like everyone else did and he never made me feel like I was screwing everything up. Sure we were fighting that day I threw out my cello, but he got it back for me.

I couldn't believe that I was doing this as I stared at my phone, reading the text message that said to meet in the alley behind Degrassi.

I couldn't believe that I was doing this. It was 10:15 at night, which was my curfew. Zig and mom were asleep which is a good thing because I didn't want either of them to find out what I was planning. Katie was away at college, so she wouldn't know.

Zig and I were finally dating, but it's been one year ago that I found out the horrifying truth. My first love, Campbell Saunders, killed himself in the Degrassi greenhouse a few hours after he texted me, "I'm not coming. Sorry. It's over." He didn't even tell me he loved me for the last time. I miss him so much, but can you really blame me? He was my first love and he always will be. If he was still alive, I don't think he would be very happy that I'm now dating Zig.

I recently found out that Zig is involved in a gang which is being lead by Tiny's older brother, Vince. Zig didn't grow up with much money so in order to make some, he started dealing drugs and stuff. He knew that he would get into trouble, but he did what he had to do to survive. Vince is the leader of the gang that Zig and Tiny are involved in. Vince is the only family that Tiny has.

I have to talk him into letting my boyfriend out of the gang because I don't want to lose him like I lost Cam. I have to try, so I decided to text him and ask where he was. I got his phone number from Zig's phone when he wasn't looking. Knowing that I could be in danger for doing this didn't matter to me as long as Zig was safe. I can't risk losing him like I lost Cam.

I walked to an alley closest to my house. While I plugged my headphones in my phone I searched for a song I could listen to. I picked "Confident" by Demi Lovato. I've always been a fan of her music.

Soon I realized that I was now in a sketchy area of the neighborhood, but I didn't care. Zig's safety means everything to me. I arrived to the alley and looked around. "Maya Matlin. What do I owe this pleasure?" A voice asked to my left. I looked at him. Vince. He looks like an older Tiny, but more dangerous and deadly. He could kill me if he wanted to, but it would hurt Zig. I have to try and get him out of this. I walked toward him. "Vince," he nodded. "I need a favor." I told him, confident. I pulled out my left headphone. The right one had the controls for my phone so I kept that one in.

"Oh and what would that be?" He asked, smirking. "Let my boyfriend out of your gang." He raised an eyebrow and then laughed. "You're Zig's girl, aren't you?" I nodded. "Yes. I am. Now let him go." He looked at me, still smirking. "I'll let him go on one condition."

I raised an eyebrow, "What is the condition?" He said he would think about it and that he wouldn't tell Zig anything about this before walking away.

I walked back home, regretfully not wearing a sweater. It was cold outside. After a few minutes, I got back to the house and quietly closed the door before I went up to my room and shut the door. After I grabbed my pajamas, I changed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. While I walked back to my room, I noticed that Zig was sound asleep. He looked so cute when he's sleeping. I shook my head and got under the covers thinking about what happened tonight.

Zig can NEVER find out what I did. He would be very angry if he knew. I did what I had to do to protect him. After I lost Cam, I couldn't risk losing Zig too because he is the reason why I got past Cam's death.


	2. Chapter 2

**REVIEW, Favorite and Follow if you want to. I'm very obsessed with Degrassi right now which is why 4 of my stories are all about Degrassi. I'll probably have some Degrassi crossovers if anyone is interested. Enjoy. I do NOT own Degrassi.**

* * *

 **Maya's POV:  
** The next morning, I woke up and got out of bed. Everything that happened last night came rushing back. Sneaking out of the house to meet the gang leader so he could let Zig out of the gang and putting myself in danger.

 _I have to protect Zig. It's for his own good. His safety means everything to me._ My feet hit the cold floor as I felt a chill in the room. I quickly got showered and dressed before I headed to the kitchen. My phone-fully charged-and charger was in my bag that was in my room and I brought the bag in the living room. Zig came in the kitchen at that time ready to go.

While I looked through the pantry for something to eat I found pop tarts and put two in the toaster. As I waited, I opened the other pantry on the other side to get a glass, then I opened the fridge, grabbed some milk and ate a pop tart. Zig grabbed the other one which caused me to playfully yell, "hey!" We both laughed and continued to get ready. I brushed my teeth in the bathroom and then did my makeup. When I was done with my makeup, I grabbed my bag. Zig grabbed his and we made our way out the door.

While we were walking to Degrassi, we laughed and talked about anything and everything. After awhile, we made it to the school. "Zig, hold on a second. I'll be right back." He nodded and I took off towards the greenhouse by the school.

I ran to the doorway and looked inside. Plants was around the perimeter of the greenhouse. I looked down and didn't see any blood. It must have gotten cleaned up after Cam died.

I looked up towards the sky and softly said, "I'm so sorry, Cam. I don't hate you for being depressed, but you could have talked to me. You said that you weren't letting go of me that easily, but you did. Why? You meant everything to me and you left. I'll always love you." I started crying softly as I heard footsteps getting louder from behind me.

I blinked and Cam was in front of me. "I know Maya. You should hate me and you have every right to be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't know how to deal with my depression and it felt like everything was falling apart around me. My family was thousands of miles away from me, Dallas and the others treated me like crap and Zig was trying to take you away from me." Cam stated, sadly. He got angry when he mentioned Zig. "Cam, I wish you were here right now. It was easier with you around. I love my relationship with Zig, but I miss you. I still think about you every day." I told him.

"You're dating Zig?" He asked, sadly, with tears in his eyes. I looked down at the ground. "I'm not going to lie to you Cam. Yes. Zig and I are dating." He nodded and his expression was unreadable. "Does he make you happy, Maya?" He asked as I thought about it. _Does Zig make me happy?_ I honestly didn't know the answer to that.

"Maya!" Zig's voice said as he came in the doorway. "Maya, are you okay?" I blinked looking at where Cam used to be and he was gone. _Was I going crazy? Did I just imagine talking to Cam?_

"I'm fine. I was just thinking." Technically I wasn't lying. I love Cam so much. It's weird. I thought I would have a complete breakdown in here. I guess not. Oh well.

Zig grabbed my arm gently and we walked toward the school. "Is everything okay?" He asked as he looked at me. "Yeah. I just miss him." He nodded, completely understanding how I feel about Cam. I could see he worried about me just by looking into his eyes and I immediately felt guilty for what I did last night, but I couldn't help it. _I won't let anything happen to Zig. I won't fail him._ I thought as Zig and I walked into the school.

Classes were boring, but luckily I didn't have much homework tonight. Unfortunately that would just leave me with my thoughts as I sat at home and did nothing.

It was now lunch time and as I was putting my stuff in my locker, the rest of the Hockey team came up to me. Dallas looked like he was determined about something, but I didn't know what it was about. I glared at all of them, especially Luke and Dallas. I was so angry with them, but mainly the team captain and the Christian boy. They were so mean to Cam and I can't believe that it lasted as long as it did. Cam didn't deserve it at all since he already had so much other stuff going on. I can't believe that I let it continue and didn't do anything about it. Then again, Cam never mentioned how bad It actually was, so I had no idea.

"What do you want?" I said, angry. Dallas just looked at me. I slammed my locker door so loud everyone looked at me, but I didn't care. No one on the team flinched. For a moment I was tempted to punch Dallas and Luke in the face for what they did, but I knew that it wouldn't matter because **NOTHING** would bring Cam back and that's what hurt the most.

I wanted to see his face again, have his arms hold me again, hear his laugh, see him smile, and look into his eyes. Just one more time is all I ask. Please? I loved it when Katie let him spend the night at my house before he died. "We just wanted to talk." Dallas said, as Luke, Owen and the others stood a little bit behind him. "No. We don't. So why don't you leave me alone." I started to walk away as Dallas grabbed my arm. I looked at his hand on my arm and then glared at him. He let go. "Yes. We do."

I was very angry with them; Maybe it's because Dallas was being mean to Cam; Maybe it's because of Luke who was making fun of my relationship with Cam before the latter died and Dallas didn't do anything to stop it, let alone reassure Cam that his hockey team didn't mean any harm or maybe it's because I kind of blamed them for Cam reaching his breaking point since it's obvious that the Toronto Ice Hounds were one of the factors that caused Cam to end it all or maybe it's because of all of those reasons combined.

I knew that I didn't want to talk to Dallas, but something in his voice made me want to hear him out. I didn't know why; Maybe it's because I judged him without knowing the real Mike Dallas after he started being mean to Cam and just acted on anger; Maybe it's because Dallas and everyone in this school lost someone close to them and who obviously made a difference in this whole school; Maybe it's because Cam looked up to Dallas and saw him as a role model, someone who inspired him to play or maybe it's because Cam wouldn't want me to be angry at anyone, except Cam himself since it was Cam who made the decision due to other's actions towards him or maybe it was a combination of all of those reasons.

That didn't change the fact that I was angry with everyone and everything; I was angry with Dallas for going off on Cam when he had a lot of problems at home, at school and in his personal life-his family was all the way back in Kapuskasing; the Toronto Ice Hounds kept on being mean to him; Zig trying to get between us; Cam being pressured to play hockey. It wasn't fair to him-I was angry with Cam for leaving me; but most of all, I was angry at myself for not being their for Cam when he needed me the most.

I didn't deserve Cam. He means everything to me and I let him down. I didn't do anything to save him. I could have saved him, but I didn't do shit.

"Fine." I told them crossing my arms. "What do you want?" Before Dallas was able to respond, my phone beeped. Zig messaged me asking where I was. "We will talk later. I got to go." I left them standing in the hallway.

I got to cafeteria and sat down. "No lunch?" Tristan asked as I shook my head. "No." Tori and Tristan looked at me in concern. Zig looked at me and I did the same. I felt so guilty for not telling him about my secret meeting with Vince, but I had to protect him. I couldn't risk loosing him after I lost Cam. Grace, Tiny and Jonah looked at me then Zig, then looked back at me. I looked away because I knew that if I looked into Zig's green eyes any longer, my secret about Vince will come out and I couldn't do that to Zig. I have to protect him since I failed to protect Cam and I won't let that happen to Zig.

 **Whatever it takes.**


	3. Chapter 3

**REVIEW, Favorite and Follow if you want to. I'm very obsessed with Degrassi right now which is why 4 of my stories are all about Degrassi. I'll probably have some Degrassi crossovers if anyone is interested. Enjoy. I do NOT own Degrassi.**

* * *

 **Maya's POV:**

After lunch, I walked to my locker and spot Dallas and the rest of the Toronto Ice Hounds walk towards me. "Matlin, we need to talk." He looked determined, but I had something else that I needed to take care of first. Nothing was going to distract me until I was done with what I needed to do first. I shut my locker and looked at him.

"Leave me alone, Dallas. I don't want to talk to you-any of you-right now." Dallas looked at me as my phone beeped.

 _Meet me at the Degrassi Greenhouse in a few minutes._

I decided to ditch school to help Zig the best I could, so I started walking out the doors and didn't know where I was going, my feet seemed to have a mind of their own. Before I knew it, I was at the Degrassi greenhouse and walked in.

I started crying as I fell to the ground. My tears were clouding my vision, so I couldn't see anything clearly. Why did this happen to me? Cam died in this place, so I should be avoiding it, right? I don't know why I was drawn here after my ex boyfriend's death, but I was. I knew that Cam died here because Simpson told us that Eli Goldsworthy was the one who found him. Clare was with him, but she was the one who called 9-1-1. I was grateful that they found him, even if he had died, so I wouldn't have to come in here and find him myself. That thought would have killed me. If I found him, then I would have left Degrassi for awhile, but Eli stayed after he found Cam.

"Maya Matlin." A voice spoke from behind me, but I didn't turn around. "TURN AROUND!" He yelled and I turned to look at him-even though I couldn't see anything past my tears-but I didn't recognize him at first, then I realized who it was. Vince, Tiny's older brother and the leader of the gang that Zig was involved in.

Everything in me was demanding that I run to my house, lock the door and don't go anywhere for awhile, but I knew I couldn't because there was a possibility of him following me. Hell, he probably followed me here. Oh, Shit. I'm in so much trouble.

"Did you follow me here?" I asked him as he shook his head. "No. I didn't." I crossed my arms. "What do you want?" The bell rang, but I didn't care at all. All I cared about was Zig's safety. I couldn't risk loosing Zig after I lost Cam.

"Easy. Don't tell Zig about this and he can stay out of the gang. Everybody wins, but if you tell him about our little meetings, then he will be forced to go back to my gang and you will pay the price." I raised an eyebrow.

"How exactly would you force him?" I asked, curious. "It's simple really. Zig loves you so much. I can see it in his eyes when he talks about you. He told Tiny and myself that he doesn't want to lose you. 'When he's with you, other girls are just that other girls. None of them are you.' After he said that, I realized that he's deeply in love with you and the thought of something bad happening to you, or you dying would kill him. He would do anything to protect you, Maya." He walked closer to me; we were now a foot apart. "If you got hurt or died, Zig would be forced to get back in the gang to protect you. That's how. As long as Zig is out of the gang, he can try to protect you, but eventually he will fail."

"No. He won't. If he's out of the gang, then he can protect me a lot more than if he was dealing for you. If he was in your gang, then you could hurt me and he wouldn't be there to protect me." I glared at him. "You just want someone to deal for you. That's all you want because you don't care about my safety or Zig's as long as you get what you want!" I yelled at him.

Next thing I knew, I fell to the ground. Vince was looked at me. Ironically, I was in the same spot that Cam died. I cried, not just because he died, but because I didn't want to die in the same place he did. I cried, because Zig has to deal with this idiot who is trying to get him back in the gang. I cried, because I wanted to protect Zig and I couldn't even do that. "Don't ever yell at me again." He said as he slapped, kick and punched me. He kicked me in the stomach, punched me in the face and banged my head on the ground. It got so bad I couldn't move at all. I could barely lift my head up to look at him.

"Don't piss me off." He said, grabbing my head and then he let go. I felt my head hit the ground. I started crying after he walked away. I'm just lucky he didn't kill me or try to. I couldn't breathe and I closed my eyes.


End file.
